I saw something on TV the other day that I found intriguing (I know that’s hard to believe- something interesting on TV . . . but I digress). Somebody wrote a book about the merits of taking a break from dating. You are supposed to use that time productively by writing a list of what you are looking for in a mate, and another list of what you would like to avoid. This will help you “get in touch with your own inner person”. I think the idea is that you have to love yourself before trying to convince someone else that you are worthy of their love. Since my last disastrous relationship that destroyed my life, my faith in men, my faith in friendship, and any desire to date again for a very long time I decided I have nothing to lose by trying this.
Now it has been three months since my last date. I won’t bore you with my lists, which are more than likely the same as yours, and every one else’s. We all have those lists etched in our subconscious minds like the Grand Canyon, forever and deeply engraved. Do we really need to write them down? Of course we are all looking for Prince Charming of one sort or another, and definitely not looking for a lazy, self-centered, negative and unattractive person to disrupt our lives. I suppose writing these things down did me some good. I will have something to look back on when I do find Mr. Right. Then I will be able to compare and discern how he doesn’t fit into my narrowed vision of perfection. I think it might be best to destroy those lists, on the off chance that he might find them and leave in abject despair and depression over not being perfect.
I do love and appreciate myself now, but I think I always did. This exercise has made me aware that I do not need a man to complete me, as I am already complete in myself, such as I am. I could live out my days without a man, filling my time with work, family, and friends, writing my dating blog until I am 95. By then I will have even more educated advice for all of the dateless and lonely men and women out there who are looking to me to perhaps save them from the fickle finger of fate.
Needless to say, I do not presume to suggest, condone or advise trying this dating hiatus thing unless you are sick of dating anyway, and just want to take a break to avoid jumping across the table in some dingy dive flailing a butter knife at your current blind date when he says something like “I thought you were getting the check.”, “What is your sign?” or my favorite “My ex used to hold her fork just like that.” Sometimes taking a break is a good thing . . . just because.
Now it has been three months since my last date. I won’t bore you with my lists, which are more than likely the same as yours, and every one else’s. We all have those lists etched in our subconscious minds like the Grand Canyon, forever and deeply engraved. Do we really need to write them down? Of course we are all looking for Prince Charming of one sort or another, and definitely not looking for a lazy, self-centered, negative and unattractive person to disrupt our lives. I suppose writing these things down did me some good. I will have something to look back on when I do find Mr. Right. Then I will be able to compare and discern how he doesn’t fit into my narrowed vision of perfection. I think it might be best to destroy those lists, on the off chance that he might find them and leave in abject despair and depression over not being perfect.
I do love and appreciate myself now, but I think I always did. This exercise has made me aware that I do not need a man to complete me, as I am already complete in myself, such as I am. I could live out my days without a man, filling my time with work, family, and friends, writing my dating blog until I am 95. By then I will have even more educated advice for all of the dateless and lonely men and women out there who are looking to me to perhaps save them from the fickle finger of fate.
Needless to say, I do not presume to suggest, condone or advise trying this dating hiatus thing unless you are sick of dating anyway, and just want to take a break to avoid jumping across the table in some dingy dive flailing a butter knife at your current blind date when he says something like “I thought you were getting the check.”, “What is your sign?” or my favorite “My ex used to hold her fork just like that.” Sometimes taking a break is a good thing . . . just because.
