A Single Red Rose

Photograph by Graur Codrin

"A rose for a rose.” he said with a wink and a smile.

The delicate red rose bud was perfect in every way. Things had been tense between them, and the gesture of love was just what she needed. The good feelings filled her heart to overflowing and made her smile. Reaching for the beautiful flower, Carey gushed, “I had better watch out for thorns.“ but as the flower touched her fingers it wasn’t a thorn that pricked her and her smile faded. The hard plastic scratched her hand, and the falseness of the gesture tore at her heart. Of course the flower was perfect. All phony flowers come out of a mold, identical to each other in almost every way.

Carey sniffed lightly at the flower and sighed." I had better put it in water. It smells so nice and we want it to bloom and flourish."

“ A puzzled look splashed across Mark’s face and his grin turned to a frown. “But honey, the flower isn’t real. Did you really think it was?”

A single tear trickled down her cheek, and she quickly dabbed it away. Carey thought about their relationship and how strained things had been. How real were his feelings for her? Although he professed to love her, and seemed to demonstrate his feelings in many ways, she had sensed a falseness about him and an emptiness in his eyes that hadn’t been there in the beginning. The fake flower, and the insincere gesture forced her to look at the situation realistically.

Carey leaned forward as she brushed the lock of hair from her eyes that had fallen out of place. Her look was pensive as she asked me “What do you think? Am I being overly sensitive? Maybe I’m looking at this wrong.”

The air was thick with negative vibrations but my own thoughts drifted to the many times that I had received velvet roses, stuffed bears and glass trinkets from my man. My own feelings were far removed from Carey’s as I had been delighted. How special it was that he had thought of me and wanted to bring me a gift. Why did she feel so differently? There had to be something more to it than just the falseness of the flower. Perhaps there had been other more important signs that the relationship was in peril.

“You should always pay attention to your feelings” I suggested. “There must be a reason you are thinking this way. Maybe some other problems?”

Carey sighed and looked away. I could see that I had struck a nerve and I heard the pain in her voice when she said, “I’ve tried so hard to get along with him. He is just so difficult. I don’t know what to do anymore.”

Are there times when we are oblivious to the signs…even when they are flashing like neon lights right in front of our eyes? Do we hear the alarms when they ring loudly in our ears? It’s important to be alert and aware. Ignoring the warning signs can cause small problems to grow into bigger ones which become harder to deal with.

Carey and Mark were able to work things out once they saw the problems and dealt with them. She keeps her artificial rose bud in a vase on her night stand along with the ceramic angel Mark gave her for Christmas and the singing dog she received on Valentine’s day. They are the last thing she see’s when she goes to bed at night, and they greet her at the beginning of every day. They make her smile and so does Mark.

ONLINE DATING- FACT OR FISHING?

Online dating can be likened to surfing the treacherous monster waves in Hawaii, diving off the mega cliffs in Mexico, swimming across the English Channel, or taking a dip in shark infested waters. Sure, you hope it will be a fun and exciting adventure to laugh about later. But what is online dating really like?

While keeping a journal of my online dating experiences I have met some truly amazing men, enjoyed numerous delightful dates, and made some life-long friends in the cyber online dating process. Along with the displeasure of wrestling a few sharks, and extricating myself from some powerful undertows, I've escaped the vice like grip of an octopus in heat. On the sunny side, I can bask in the luxury of knowing there are some graceful dolphins, and a rainbow of unique, attractive catches out there.

In my experience so far I have been steering my raft through the wild rapids of online dating for a while now. My line has been cast into many tranquil lakes, choppy rivers and the ebb and flow of the ocean tides. Returning my share of catches back to the dark depths from which they came, I have managed to reel in some award winning prizes worthy of display. My rubber raft has sprang a few leaks, collided with jagged rocks, and the dolphins are having a blast bumping me off my safe little perch while singing delightfully. The friendly dolphins are keeping the cantankerous sharks away(for now), but I have been stung by a few transparent jelly fish with rather long reaching tentacles.

So my advice is to hang in there and keep throwing that line in to the online dating pond. Put lots of bright colored bait on the hook, and just enjoy the challenge and stimulation of the sport.

Honesty- honestly?

How honest are you on your internet profile? Are you willing to embellish in order to attract interest?

If you are truly honest on your online dating site, will anybody contact you? Can you really put yourself out there for the world to see and not scare people away?

When I wrote my online dating profile, I made every effort to be honest, factual and real. It can be very uncomfortable to finally meet the man you have been trading emails with for months on line only to find that he is three inches shorter and 50 pounds heavier than he portrayed himself to be. This is also true if you are the one who has falsely represented yourself on your online dating page. Eventually your perspective date will know everything, so be honest from the start.

When filling out your online dating profile, these are the questions to ask yourself and answer honestly.

How current is your picture?
It should have been taken within the last two years. If you don't have a current photograph, ask a friend to take a few, or go to a professional photographer to have some glamorous shots taken.

Is your age accurate?
If you say you are younger on your online dating site, eventually you will have to fess up. Everybody ages, so stand up and be proud. After all, would you really want a guy that's looking to rob the cradle, or is going to be overly critical of every little wrinkle?

What about your “body type”?
What is average? If you weigh 200 lbs. you are NOT average, no matter how many other women share your weight distribution.

Do you smoke, drink or do drugs?
These are things you must be honest about on your online dating profile. A non-smoker looking for another non-smoker will be disappointed and angry if you show up for your first online date with him smelling like you just inhaled a whole carton of cigarettes. You can only hide it for so long before he catches you slinking around in the backyard with smoke seeping out of your nostrils. So be honest from the start. Find another smoker that you can share cigarettes with.

I know it isn't always appropriate to post everything on your online dating profile, but at least be honest when conversing with someone. I have been sadly disappointed more then once when I found that my online date presented himself falsely. I know on occasion I would have liked the man had he just been truthful.

I want to be able to trust my friend and lover. Start out your relationship on a platform of honesty. Be proud of who you are, and if for some reason you are ashamed of yourself, then make some personal changes.

Be appreciated for who you are. A relationship based on illusion is pretentious. The best long lasting relationships are honest and real. This is what you must strive for, even if you have to take the long way around the block. If you arrive at the wrong destination, what is the point of being there?

Free as a Bird . . .

I have been on an online dating hiatus for a year now, and the time has come to decide if I want to end it and move on, or continue with my quest for self fulfillment.

This year away from online dating has been a real eye opener! I have learned a great deal about myself, my strengths, my virtues and I have increased my confidence. When I was always in a "relationship", it made things cloudy, and bogged down. Now the sky is as clear as a bright spring day! I feel light as a butterfly and free as a bird! I think I am now ready to move on. I will put no restrictions on myself, but let my life flow like a clear running stream. Life is good!

Dating Hiatus- Pros and Cons

I saw something on TV the other day that I found intriguing (I know that’s hard to believe- something interesting on TV . . . but I digress). Somebody wrote a book about the merits of taking a break from dating. You are supposed to use that time productively by writing a list of what you are looking for in a mate, and another list of what you would like to avoid. This will help you “get in touch with your own inner person”. I think the idea is that you have to love yourself before trying to convince someone else that you are worthy of their love. Since my last disastrous relationship that destroyed my life, my faith in men, my faith in friendship, and any desire to date again for a very long time I decided I have nothing to lose by trying this.

Now it has been three months since my last date. I won’t bore you with my lists, which are more than likely the same as yours, and every one else’s. We all have those lists etched in our subconscious minds like the Grand Canyon, forever and deeply engraved. Do we really need to write them down? Of course we are all looking for Prince Charming of one sort or another, and definitely not looking for a lazy, self-centered, negative and unattractive person to disrupt our lives. I suppose writing these things down did me some good. I will have something to look back on when I do find Mr. Right. Then I will be able to compare and discern how he doesn’t fit into my narrowed vision of perfection. I think it might be best to destroy those lists, on the off chance that he might find them and leave in abject despair and depression over not being perfect.

I do love and appreciate myself now, but I think I always did. This exercise has made me aware that I do not need a man to complete me, as I am already complete in myself, such as I am. I could live out my days without a man, filling my time with work, family, and friends, writing my dating blog until I am 95. By then I will have even more educated advice for all of the dateless and lonely men and women out there who are looking to me to perhaps save them from the fickle finger of fate.

Needless to say, I do not presume to suggest, condone or advise trying this dating hiatus thing unless you are sick of dating anyway, and just want to take a break to avoid jumping across the table in some dingy dive flailing a butter knife at your current blind date when he says something like “I thought you were getting the check.”, “What is your sign?” or my favorite “My ex used to hold her fork just like that.” Sometimes taking a break is a good thing . . . just because.

Waiting for 5

New to the online dating scene, I sat basking in my own apprehensive anxiety. The quaint local restaurant bar swarmed with businessmen taking advantage of happy hour. The few women there were all with men and I monopolized the position of single available woman. Although I am sure I blended into the crowd, I felt like I had a neon light flashing “Single, alone, and looking for action” across my forehead.


Jim and I had been rapping online for awhile, and the time had arrived for us to meet face to face. Of course His picture portrayed a fair haired, handsome guy with awesome eyes and a winning smile, and when he arrived I was delighted to find that he looked like his picture down to the last delicious dimple. We talked for hours and seemed to have a mutual chemistry together that was rare to find. After a long romantic walk along the river holding hands, I suggested that he might like to go dancing as dusk was beginning to set. When he declined stating that he could not be out after dark, I was a bit disappointed, joking that perhaps he would turn into a werewolf when the sun went down. He laughed but neglected to go into details as to why he had to leave before dark. I assumed that maybe the lights on his car didn’t work or perhaps he had made other plans so I didn’t push it.


He called a few days later and asked me to lunch on Sunday, so we met at a cute beachside restaurant and laughed our way through fish and cheesecake. He took me for a scenic drive through a local area that I hadn’t explored, delivering an interesting and detailed commentary about historical sites, and telling fun tales about each area we visited. When he dropped me off at my car I felt excitement that I had finally met someone dating online that I could relate to. He was intelligent, fun and seemed to return my affection.


We continued to date for about a month, only on Sundays, only during the day and always having a fun time together. I noticed some peculiarities and tried to tell myself that everybody has some little weird quirk about them. For instance he seemed to follow a very precise schedule that he could not deviate from for any reason. He could not see me on Saturday because that was his day for yard work. I could see him on Sunday because that was his day for exercise, and we always had to do something active such as take hikes, play tennis or take long treks on the beach or over the bridge. I didn’t mind being active, but it was summer in Florida, and the constant heat was beginning to get to me. We couldn’t go out at night when it was cooler due to his mysterious need to be home before dark.


I know what you're thinking, because I thought the same thing at the time. This guy has got to be married! It seemed to be the most likely explanation to me, but he swore he was single. I had his address, his home phone number, his work number and was welcome to go to or call those places at any time. Bewildered, I declined the invitation to go to his house, and began to realize his problem was much more complicated than being married.


If you have ever seen the show “The Monk”, you have met a facsimile of Jim. He admitted to being Obsessive Compulsive and once it had been pointed out I started to put the pieces together. He always separated his food, counted his bites, and had other annoying habits along the same line. For instance, if he drove a certain route to pick me up, he had to take a completely different route when taking me home. He could not stand for anything to be out of balance, or lined up improperly. I found his habits to be interesting and at times we would even laugh together about them. Being a hypnotist, I offered to help him with free sessions, but he respectfully declined, stating a fear of being put under.


After our fourth date he drove me home and kissed me in the car (a first), and I invited him in for a cup of coffee. He said he couldn’t because he was waiting for the number five. I wasn’t really sure what he meant by that (maybe our fifth date?), We didn’t see each other again. I got an extended bout of the flu and had to decline our next few dates. I really was quite ill, but perhaps he thought I had finally foundered on his OCD. He didn’t call back after that, and neither did I. I guess I should have been flattered that he dated me at all. He must have thought I was perfectly balanced (after all, I am a Libra, the sign of balance), as he didn’t find the need to correct anything about me.


Jim was a sweet, funny, nice and interesting online date, and I hope he can find someone who will be able to understand and deal with his idiosyncrasies, or help him to overcome them. As for me, I’m still out there online dating and searching for Mr. Right amongst the Mr. Maybe’s. I am sure I will find him soon on the online dating front. I’m still waiting for five too (although a ten might be closer to what I’m looking for!)

We are surrounded by abundance!

"Look at you, you madman, Screaming you are thirsty And are dying in a desert When all around you there is nothing but water!"
-- Kabir

Square- or Cool???

Cool Slideshows

Compatible chemistry confusion!!!

COMPATIBLE CHEMISTRY CONFUSION!!!!

Online dating can be a lot of fun, but every time I make arrangements to meet someone I have met on my online dating site, I am a little apprehensive. Even if we have been conversing by email or instant messaging, or even by phone for awhile, there is no way of knowing if the chemistry will be right or not, until you actually meet.

I believe that chemistry is completely physical, and we are all very individual about what, or whom, we are attracted to. There are five senses, and they all need to be satisfied. Looks are important, but certainly not everything. The sound of his voice, the smell of his hair, the taste of his kiss and the touch of his hand . . . these are all significant, but the main factor happens to be pheromones. Let's face it, there is something highly erotic about a man fresh and sweaty from the gym (if in fact, the pheromones are right). And a little sweat in the bedroom can be a turn-on.

Perhaps it would be a good idea if we always meet at a gym for our first online date with someone. After a good, hard workout together, the chemistry factor will be poignantly clear. Just a thought. Me. . . .I like the idea of seeing the man hot and sweaty, in shorts and a tank, with his muscles bulging from lifting weights. But that's my fantasy.

So, back to reality . . . . .

It's chemistry first, and everything else later. I should know. I got an A in my Chemistry class in college! (It didn't have a THING to do with that HOT Professor LOL)!

Me and Tom Selleck

Okay. I admit it. Online dating did not get me a date with Tom Selleck. In this picture he's actually a wax figure of the real Tom, but he does remind me of some of my online dates. I'm sure you have all had an online date with someone who has closely resembled a wax figure. They don't show their true personality until you've been out a few times and even then they don't have much to say. Aside from all that . . . I always thought that Tom was taller, didn't you????

The Halloween Party

Halloween is the perfect time to meet someone for a first online dating rendezvous. You get to sport a costume, and do some role-playing. Let’s face it. You’re going to do some acting on a first online date anyway, so go with the flow and have some fun with the pretense.

I once heard somebody say that the costume you choose for Halloween shouts to the world the person you really want to be. So, if you want to be a sex kitten, now is the time to meow and purr your way through the evening! Let that side of you that normally hides in the shadows shine through and make an impression. Reveal your heart and soul in a fashion that is typically reserved for your eyes only.

The costume your online date chooses will tell you a great deal about his true personality. He is showing you a side of himself that you normally wouldn’t see in the beginning. For instance, if he dresses as a pimp, he may not respect women. Pay attention to those kinds of clues, but also allow for his creativity and spontaneity. If he wears a shirt that says, “This is my costume”, he doesn’t seem to display a lot of creativity, and if you’re looking for originality in a partner, you might want to look elsewhere on your online dating site.

We all have some Halloween horror stories to tell. Years ago I attended a party with a man I had met on my online dating site. We had gone out a few times, and he seemed to be very nice, attentive and kind. His costume was a combination of a ghoul and Dracula- a white face with black circles around the eyes, and a black cape. I wore my sexy french maid outfit and a black wig (at least we were color coordinated). We laughed a lot and had a great time checking out all the creative costumes until they brought out the moonshine Jell-O shots. They were deadly, and after one I avoided them like the plague. Unfortunately, my online date didn’t realize the danger and consumed more then a few. I found him leaning against a pole, and I knew that if he had tried to walk at that time he would have fallen right over. I ended up walking home that night.

I can’t stress enough the importance of always having your own transportation on an online date with someone you barely know. I could have avoided a long walk late at night, and my aching feet the next morning. My high heels were stylish, chic and they went great with my french maid costume. However, they were quite uncomfortable during my long trek home.

Have fun, don’t take any rotten apples, and remember that all that candy stays for seconds on your lips, but forever on your hips! (Yes, that is an old cliche, but also very true).

Dating Safety

"Watch out, mom! There's a shark in the water!"My son stood on the shore waving his arms like red flags, desperately trying to get my attention.

Looking over my shoulder I saw the black, ugly fin circling around me, slowly checking out the menu for his next meal. Switching into over drive, my adrenalin pumping faster than my heart, I swam towards shore like there was no tomorrow (and there wouldn't be if I didn't get moving- and fast). Luckily, a huge wave (about 4 feet by Florida's standards) roared toward me at just the right time, and I dove into it, riding it quickly into shore. My body surfing skills came in handy, that's for sure! I stood on the shore and watched the fin retreat out to sea, probably disappointed that he would only be having fish for dinner today.

Why do I tell you this story in my online dating journal? If you really think about it, the answer is simple. Even though I do everything I can to protect my own safety, online dating can be a dangerous proposition. Yes, I always meet my online dates in a public place. No, I don't get into their cars, and I can wallop a hard punch in the groin if absolutely necessary. Eventually though, you have to just trust a man if you ever want a real relationship to develop. The second or third online dates are the danger zones. You start to let your guard down, give them your phone number and let them know where you live. Maybe you even go on a real date sitting in their passenger seat or on the back of their bike.

All I am saying is to be careful when online dating. Even if you think you know this guy, he could be like that hungry shark, circling in closer for the kill. No, he probably isn't that serial killer that's still lurking around, and he probably won't physically kill you or even hurt you. However, he can tear into your emotions, break your heart, and feed on your misery.

So my advice is to take it slow and easy my friend. You're no longer in the high school of life. This is graduate school and it takes a lot of hard work and dedication to your own well being to get that online dating diploma.

Peace!

The Meet Market

At my age it becomes a little more difficult to find a good man. It doesn't matter how attractive I am for a woman of my age, how much exercise I get, or how many miles I run on the treadmill. It is difficult to compete with someone half my age with a double D boob job.

Going to a MEET MARKET can be pretty frustrating. The men there that are my age are all futilely chasing some 25 year old fashion model who is only there to get free drinks. Come on guys, let's get real here. Why would this hot young thing be interested in an older distinquished gentleman? Unless she has a daddy complex, I am sure she would prefer someone of her own age. What do you have that a younger man doesn't? The answer is MONEY, my dear.

You might think the same thing about us older women, but the difference is that we aren't unrealistically chasing after some young stud who is out of our league. Instead we are looking for a man close to our own age who is nice, respectful and fun to be with.
How about it guys. Give the women of your own generation a chance. You will find that we are interesting, fun and sexy. We are uninhibited, self-reliant and appreciate you for who you are, not for what you can give us. There is something to be said for conversing with someone with intelligence, experience and a common bond. Think about it . . . .

Dangerous Territory

So, there I was back in the dating world. Nothing great had come of it. I think I had either conversed with, dated or been rejected by just about every man on my online dating site between the ages of 40-60. There seems to be slim pickin's out there. But I was having some fun with the whole thing.

So who decides to walk, no, forcibly inject himself, back into my newly independent single life? My ex. He did this by calling daily, being supportive, sending flowers, and acting as though he genuinely missed my glorious presence in his otherwise dreary life.

Gullible person that I was, and still somehow connected at the heart with this man, I chose to believe his newly found enlightenment to my value. A seven hour flight across country (half of which was spent on the runway), and two months later, I was back home alone, depressed and with nary a date to be found. I had ignored all e-mails, winks and overtures from previous prospects, in hopes of "getting back together" with the "one meant for me". Oh, ye of little brain power. How could I have fallen for this again?

Oh, sure. He wanted me back. But what happened to all the phone calls, letters, cards, flowers and awe inspiring attention? Why did I again sit by the phone waiting for an itty bitty morsel of affection to appear?

Oh, to be in love again. The kind that makes your heart flutter and race uncontrollably when he enters the room, that makes you laugh and giggle for no reason when you talk about him (continuously, to the dread of your friends). It melts you when you look into his baby blues. Most of all, the kind of love that makes him think that you're a gift from God, the most beautiful creature on earth and in heaven, and that makes him feel he must have you in his life or he will simply die on the spot. Is that really too much to ask? Well, I don't think so.

So, do I continue with my quest for the perfect knight in shining armor, or do I settle for a life of secure, but monotonous boredom with the man who only sees me when I get in the way of the television screen? Such a dilemma! Well, I made up my mind. Let the dating begin!

Cowboys can't dance!

Hey, ya-all! Let's all put our hats and boots on and click our heels at the Lonely Cowboy!

Watch out for the cowboys! They would much rather be spending the evening riding Shadow (their horse) under the starry night sky, than taking a woman out for a romantic evening. Their idea of romance is a cold beer in a smoke filled honky tonk. We've all probably had some interesting experiences with cowboys- some bad, and some not so bad. But I'm glad it's my friend Bobbi, and not me that has this sad tale to tell.

The picture of this guy on a dating service looked pretty cute. He grinned a crooked smile, and his mischievous eyes were partially hidden under the rim of a cowboy hat. His profile swore to the world that he was "not a Hick!" Playing guitar in a country band, he was in the process of moving to a town close by. They chatted for awhile, sending emails back and forth, and she thought things were coming along pretty good. You must never assume!

Bobbi wanted to hop on over there to check him out incognito, but got sidetracked with a previous disfunctional relationship she unfortunately had to end. His emails seemed so encouraging and they had a lot in common. Until one day she received a rather lengthy email about his last relationship, which had devastated him to the point of slight insanity. She wondered if he was really ready to try again, or did he perhaps need more time to "heal"? He said he had spent the last 3 YEARS celibate, depressed and hiding from the world.

When they spoke on the phone she was shocked by his voice. He sounded like a teenager (Michael Jackson?) with a high-pitched whinny. Bobbi told me "He is a singer, after all". It didn't seem to matter how many excuses she made for his feminine voice- she just couldn't seem to get past it and was totally turned off to the prospect of meeting him.

The next morning, when she received his email "changing his mind" about meeting, the weight dropped from her shoulders, like an over loaded saddle bag. He said he had decided that he wasn't ready to date after all, but I highly suspect that her mature, but sexy voice had discouraged him somehow.

As he rides off, into the sunset on "Shadow", we are reminded of "Brokeback Mountain", and breath a sigh of relief for Bobbi.

Classified Ads- Love for sale . . .

SWF, housebroken, like new, loves to cuddle.
Needs TLC and a little paint.
Available now for love, affection and desire.
Price non-negotiable


Are you placing an ad to sell yourself to the highest bidder?

Is anybody willing to pay your asking price?

If you give yourself the value you deserve, is it possible to compromise?

When you look through the Want-ads, do you know if they're being honest?

Is it possible to pick lovers like you do a used car?

Can sensual bliss be found in the classified ads?

Would it be better to shop at the meet market?

Dating profiles are written to entice, convince, and coax the person of your dreams to contact you. There's a lot of competition out there, and sometimes they sell out for a lower price. Never be tempted to lower your price. You are worth every bit of it, my friend!

Yes, there is a good possibility that you can find an honest, and desirable man through the Want-ads. It is also true that you might test drive a few that just don't meet your standards. You will find this to be true in dating of any kind.

Hang in there! You have little to lose, and everything to gain.

Expect respect . . .

Good morning! Isn't it a lovely day? No hurricane's outside, and not even a drop of rain! Here in Florida, the hurricane's tend to control our lives, to a certain extent. But this is suppose to be about dating . . .

I seem to remember dating, from the distant past. There was a time when I was quite busy on the dating scene. Of course, I have changed a lot since then. For one thing, I am looking for something totally different in a man, and I am pretty strict about those standards. He must be attractive (to me at least) and in pretty good shape. I think that people who take care of themselves physically, and emotionally, have self respect, and THAT is important, isn't it? Of course, what is attractive to me, may not be what is attractive to someone else, and you certainly can't tell from a picture! Personality, intelligence, and moral values. It is important to meet in person, and scope each other out.

My biggest fear is that I will like him, but I won't be his type. Let's face it. Not every guy likes tall blonde women who don't fit the typical stereotype. I am not an airhead who is easily fooled by superficial attitudes and emotions. I can carry on an intelligent conversation, and I am not going to jump in the sack with the first guy I meet. Although I would never call myself a women's liber, I do believe women are equal to men, and should be treated with love and respect. I like men who can see the whole forest, and not just the tree's.

Rosy rapping

I signed up for a new dating service today. I am hoping this one is better then the last. This one is free, so that makes it better already!

I can't believe I have already received a rejection. Any rejection is a hurtle to jump over. My first rejection was in 3rd grade when Georgie chose my friend Susan over me, chasing and kissing her. She hated it and so did I. I am just now getting over that one. But that's the past. Let's deal with the present.

I sent a wink to this guy who looked pretty good. In his profile we seemed to have a lot in common, so I took a chance. I know that not every guy is going to think I'm the best thing since the mute button on the remote control. The truth is that I'm not used to rejection, being the spoiled princess that I am. Guys usually at least like me, and they don't turn away when they look at me.

I'm not at all photogenic. When I look at my pictures I see something that closely resembles the back side of a monkey. Fortunately, I look nothing like that in person, but for some reason every picture turns my face rosy like Santas on Christmas Eve. Perhaps I get embarrassed and blush when the camera clicks.

Hey, if a guy is going to judge me over a lousy red picture, he's not really the kind of person I would like anyway. After all, a person is more then how they dress up to be, but a complete package with a big red bow on top!

Today is the first date of the rest of your life . . .

"Today is the first date of the rest of your life!" So Cliche, and yet so true.

I have been a member of an anonymous dating service for a while now. The response has been going from good to lukewarm. My question is this : What is the point of having you fill out this big long commentary about what you are looking for in a man? Does anyone even look at it? The service sends me a list every few days of people who are supposed to be my match, and yet they don't match my criteria at all. For instance, I have written "5'9" and above" on my list, but they keep sending me guys who are "5'5" and below! I am a tall woman, and I feel like a giant aborigine around short men.

I get winks and e-mails all the time from guys that - let's be honest here, I would never have any interest in at all. I'm sure they are perfect for someone, but if they read my profile they would know, for instance, that I don't want kids, I'm allergic to cigarette smoke, and I don't date married men. I keep hoping Prince Charming will read my profile and contact me. After all, patience is a virtue (oh no, another cliche).