Dangerous Territory

So, there I was back in the dating world. Nothing great had come of it. I think I had either conversed with, dated or been rejected by just about every man on my online dating site between the ages of 40-60. There seems to be slim pickin's out there. But I was having some fun with the whole thing.

So who decides to walk, no, forcibly inject himself, back into my newly independent single life? My ex. He did this by calling daily, being supportive, sending flowers, and acting as though he genuinely missed my glorious presence in his otherwise dreary life.

Gullible person that I was, and still somehow connected at the heart with this man, I chose to believe his newly found enlightenment to my value. A seven hour flight across country (half of which was spent on the runway), and two months later, I was back home alone, depressed and with nary a date to be found. I had ignored all e-mails, winks and overtures from previous prospects, in hopes of "getting back together" with the "one meant for me". Oh, ye of little brain power. How could I have fallen for this again?

Oh, sure. He wanted me back. But what happened to all the phone calls, letters, cards, flowers and awe inspiring attention? Why did I again sit by the phone waiting for an itty bitty morsel of affection to appear?

Oh, to be in love again. The kind that makes your heart flutter and race uncontrollably when he enters the room, that makes you laugh and giggle for no reason when you talk about him (continuously, to the dread of your friends). It melts you when you look into his baby blues. Most of all, the kind of love that makes him think that you're a gift from God, the most beautiful creature on earth and in heaven, and that makes him feel he must have you in his life or he will simply die on the spot. Is that really too much to ask? Well, I don't think so.

So, do I continue with my quest for the perfect knight in shining armor, or do I settle for a life of secure, but monotonous boredom with the man who only sees me when I get in the way of the television screen? Such a dilemma! Well, I made up my mind. Let the dating begin!

Cowboys can't dance!

Hey, ya-all! Let's all put our hats and boots on and click our heels at the Lonely Cowboy!

Watch out for the cowboys! They would much rather be spending the evening riding Shadow (their horse) under the starry night sky, than taking a woman out for a romantic evening. Their idea of romance is a cold beer in a smoke filled honky tonk. We've all probably had some interesting experiences with cowboys- some bad, and some not so bad. But I'm glad it's my friend Bobbi, and not me that has this sad tale to tell.

The picture of this guy on a dating service looked pretty cute. He grinned a crooked smile, and his mischievous eyes were partially hidden under the rim of a cowboy hat. His profile swore to the world that he was "not a Hick!" Playing guitar in a country band, he was in the process of moving to a town close by. They chatted for awhile, sending emails back and forth, and she thought things were coming along pretty good. You must never assume!

Bobbi wanted to hop on over there to check him out incognito, but got sidetracked with a previous disfunctional relationship she unfortunately had to end. His emails seemed so encouraging and they had a lot in common. Until one day she received a rather lengthy email about his last relationship, which had devastated him to the point of slight insanity. She wondered if he was really ready to try again, or did he perhaps need more time to "heal"? He said he had spent the last 3 YEARS celibate, depressed and hiding from the world.

When they spoke on the phone she was shocked by his voice. He sounded like a teenager (Michael Jackson?) with a high-pitched whinny. Bobbi told me "He is a singer, after all". It didn't seem to matter how many excuses she made for his feminine voice- she just couldn't seem to get past it and was totally turned off to the prospect of meeting him.

The next morning, when she received his email "changing his mind" about meeting, the weight dropped from her shoulders, like an over loaded saddle bag. He said he had decided that he wasn't ready to date after all, but I highly suspect that her mature, but sexy voice had discouraged him somehow.

As he rides off, into the sunset on "Shadow", we are reminded of "Brokeback Mountain", and breath a sigh of relief for Bobbi.

Classified Ads- Love for sale . . .

SWF, housebroken, like new, loves to cuddle.
Needs TLC and a little paint.
Available now for love, affection and desire.
Price non-negotiable


Are you placing an ad to sell yourself to the highest bidder?

Is anybody willing to pay your asking price?

If you give yourself the value you deserve, is it possible to compromise?

When you look through the Want-ads, do you know if they're being honest?

Is it possible to pick lovers like you do a used car?

Can sensual bliss be found in the classified ads?

Would it be better to shop at the meet market?

Dating profiles are written to entice, convince, and coax the person of your dreams to contact you. There's a lot of competition out there, and sometimes they sell out for a lower price. Never be tempted to lower your price. You are worth every bit of it, my friend!

Yes, there is a good possibility that you can find an honest, and desirable man through the Want-ads. It is also true that you might test drive a few that just don't meet your standards. You will find this to be true in dating of any kind.

Hang in there! You have little to lose, and everything to gain.

Expect respect . . .

Good morning! Isn't it a lovely day? No hurricane's outside, and not even a drop of rain! Here in Florida, the hurricane's tend to control our lives, to a certain extent. But this is suppose to be about dating . . .

I seem to remember dating, from the distant past. There was a time when I was quite busy on the dating scene. Of course, I have changed a lot since then. For one thing, I am looking for something totally different in a man, and I am pretty strict about those standards. He must be attractive (to me at least) and in pretty good shape. I think that people who take care of themselves physically, and emotionally, have self respect, and THAT is important, isn't it? Of course, what is attractive to me, may not be what is attractive to someone else, and you certainly can't tell from a picture! Personality, intelligence, and moral values. It is important to meet in person, and scope each other out.

My biggest fear is that I will like him, but I won't be his type. Let's face it. Not every guy likes tall blonde women who don't fit the typical stereotype. I am not an airhead who is easily fooled by superficial attitudes and emotions. I can carry on an intelligent conversation, and I am not going to jump in the sack with the first guy I meet. Although I would never call myself a women's liber, I do believe women are equal to men, and should be treated with love and respect. I like men who can see the whole forest, and not just the tree's.

Rosy rapping

I signed up for a new dating service today. I am hoping this one is better then the last. This one is free, so that makes it better already!

I can't believe I have already received a rejection. Any rejection is a hurtle to jump over. My first rejection was in 3rd grade when Georgie chose my friend Susan over me, chasing and kissing her. She hated it and so did I. I am just now getting over that one. But that's the past. Let's deal with the present.

I sent a wink to this guy who looked pretty good. In his profile we seemed to have a lot in common, so I took a chance. I know that not every guy is going to think I'm the best thing since the mute button on the remote control. The truth is that I'm not used to rejection, being the spoiled princess that I am. Guys usually at least like me, and they don't turn away when they look at me.

I'm not at all photogenic. When I look at my pictures I see something that closely resembles the back side of a monkey. Fortunately, I look nothing like that in person, but for some reason every picture turns my face rosy like Santas on Christmas Eve. Perhaps I get embarrassed and blush when the camera clicks.

Hey, if a guy is going to judge me over a lousy red picture, he's not really the kind of person I would like anyway. After all, a person is more then how they dress up to be, but a complete package with a big red bow on top!

Today is the first date of the rest of your life . . .

"Today is the first date of the rest of your life!" So Cliche, and yet so true.

I have been a member of an anonymous dating service for a while now. The response has been going from good to lukewarm. My question is this : What is the point of having you fill out this big long commentary about what you are looking for in a man? Does anyone even look at it? The service sends me a list every few days of people who are supposed to be my match, and yet they don't match my criteria at all. For instance, I have written "5'9" and above" on my list, but they keep sending me guys who are "5'5" and below! I am a tall woman, and I feel like a giant aborigine around short men.

I get winks and e-mails all the time from guys that - let's be honest here, I would never have any interest in at all. I'm sure they are perfect for someone, but if they read my profile they would know, for instance, that I don't want kids, I'm allergic to cigarette smoke, and I don't date married men. I keep hoping Prince Charming will read my profile and contact me. After all, patience is a virtue (oh no, another cliche).